Older than age itself, Each wrinkle and crater on her skin Represents a year; A time of rising and falling And rising out of darkness again
During the day she gathers herself In the comfort of invisibility and begins To reflect on the infinite bygone years And when the night reappears, her spirits lolling, She emerges to cast comforting shadows and rays, For her heaven-children and Earth-children alike
Stars surround her while man gaze at her omen And animals follow her illuminating paths As all beings are embraced by her Delicate, thin, grey-skinned fingers Of age, wisdom, comfort, and time itself
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"Our mothers and fathers held us close to their hearts and they promised 'One bright and shining day my children, we will triumph in battle. One bright and shining day my children, we will give you back your wings.' " - PL: S&W
You know I love the moon. Here, you've told her tale, softly and with grace. I love the title, "Abuela Luna" just flows off the tongue.
This is one of your best pieces so far, and it's great to see something fresh from you!
I do have one thought, however, "while man gaze at her omen" <-- gaze should be gazes since man is singular, shouldn't it? Or change man to men? I know you're using "man" as a general term but man gaze just doesn't roll off the tongue as smoothly as the rest of this remarkable piece.
Love it.
~Poe
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"..I don't care for your fairytales... - Sara Bareilles
Oh wow...I am blushing...really. Thank you so much! And yes, I think you're right about the grammer correction. :) I'll double check. Thanks again!
Ps - I love Spanish.
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"Our mothers and fathers held us close to their hearts and they promised 'One bright and shining day my children, we will triumph in battle. One bright and shining day my children, we will give you back your wings.' " - PL: S&W
