Epyllion

I dont care if I go crazy...one, two, three, four, five, six, switch...Crazy go I if care dont I...six, five four, three, two one

Matilda sat on the front porch, staring out into the starry sky. The air was dense and cold, and she loved it that way. It seemed to be the only way to keep her mind awake, to keep it from becoming static and bored. Only wearing in shorts and a short sleeved shirt, she felt the cold bite her skin, and she smiled. Her long black hair tossed a little as a breeze brushed by. She could feel something change, something in the air.

"Hello, Matilda." a calm, empty voice spoke. Right next to Matilda sat a man, lean and tall. He had an almost iridescent glow the way the light of the moon shone on him. Matilda didnt even turn to look at him. She heard this voice too many times that she could recognize it anywhere. But this was the last time she wanted to see him or hear him again.

"Go away," she whispered. There was a shiver of fear within her. He came closer to her, attempting to raise her chin. Matilda turned her back.

"Get out of here, they say youre not real." she said as she crossed her arms.

For a second she thought she could feel him and sniff her hair.

"Lilac shampoo tonight. You never change a bit."

Matilda remained silent. Maybe if she ignored him, he would disappear.

"I'm not going away Matilda."

"Stop saying my name!" she yelled. But he just smirked.

"I know, you hate that name. It reminds you that youre cursed."

Matilda thought for a while. How in the world did he know that? Not even her parents knew that.
She mulled around in her pocket and lit up a cigarette, inhaling the smoke deeply as she tried to calm herself down.

"Just because I'm sick doesnt mean I'm cursed. she replied."

"Then why am I here?" he asked, his voice unnaturally deep.

"Because."

He raised an eyebrow, as if waiting for her to prove him right.

"Because...just because." Matilda tried to continue.

"You're cursed."

"Quit it."

"Youre cursed."

He then scooted toward her and reached into her pocket. He pulled out an amber vial and shook it, making the bottle emit a rattling noise.

"Well well well, this is interesting. Are these yours Matilda?" he mocked.

Matilda's eyes widened in shock. How dare he do something like that?! A pocket is a private place for private things. Thats why no one can see through them. She felt a slight heat of embarrassment flush her face. He turned the bottle over and gave a sly smile.

"Lithium...now tell me Matilda, what is that prescribed for?"

"Go the f*ck away!" Matilda could feel her whole body shaking with anger.
"Could it be for...schizophrenia?"

Matilda snatched the bottle from him and stuffed it back in her pocket.

"Admit it, you like this. You dream about seeing visions of God someday."

"Damn God to Hell!"

"That's a funny thing to say, seeing as God and Hell are two separate things."

Matilda rolled her eyes and took another puff of her cigarette. She starred at the yellow glow that shone from the tip.

"You like it here because reality is boring. Every day is the same routine: Wake up, get dressed, brush your teeth, brush your hair, eat breakfast, go to school, come home, do homework, eat dinner, finish the homework you havent done, take a shower, go to bed."

Matilda shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah, so?"

"Do you remember this?"

He pulled a small diary from behind his back. Matilda could feel her whole body go numb. That was the cursed thing, and it spread the curse to her. He slowly flipped through the pages until he stopped.

"June fifth two-thousand six. Dear diary, I saw blood dripping off my hands today. I didn't cut myself, but I loved thinking about it. Just the way it would flow off of my skin and drip onto the ground...into little pools"

"Hey, cut it out!"

"Oh, heres a good one. June sixth, two thousand six. Dear diary, Im being stalked by this strange man! He followed me to school, like a shadow, and always glared at me through the windows. And every second of the day at home, his face would be right there, staring at me..."

"Damn it! Stop!"

"I love him...he knows my soulits like...he is me..."

Matilda grabbed the diary from his hands and held it close to her chest. She felt her heart beat reverberate through her ribcage, as if being echoed. A dab of sweat flowed down her brow. She was scared, but she wasnt sure what of.

"You know theyre going to find out about the pills, just like they found out about this. And youre going to be back in the insane asylum, wearing a white straitjacket, stuck in purgatory."

Matilda opened up the diary again, and let out a piercing scream. The letters turned from black ink to sticky red blood.

"Ah...theres the blood you know and love. Go ahead, slab it on your wrists. See how it feels."
No, this cant be real! Matilda thought. She closed her eyes and whispered this to herself, over and over again, more intense each time.

Wait, maybe its time to go back to reality. It may be dull and boring, but at least its safer there. Anything to get away from him.

In a desperate attempt, Matilda took out the amber vial and shoved a pill down her throat. Out of breath and raspy, she tried to get whatever air she could. She closed her eyes and let the tears sting and flow down her face.

"Oh come on, thats just pathetic. Those pills are going to take ages to work. And even so, Ill still be here the next time to decide to go back into insanity."

Matilda shook her head fervently, her eyes wide.

"No! No! No!" she screamed, punching her head with each No!.

She couldnt take it anymore. She wanted out, but there was no in between to reality and insanity. She just wanted it to be over.

"If you were to kill yourself, would you do it with a gun or with a knife?" he half-teased.

Then it hit her. Matilda ran into the kitchen, and pulled out a knife from the drawer. She gingerly ran her finger along the edge, beholding it in awe. The light from the moon made it have an eerie silver hue radiating from it.

"I dont care if I go crazy...one two three four five six, switch" she sang to herself. She slowly raised the knife. The knife wasnt in her hand anymore.

"Go to Hell. she muttered."

Suddenly, Matilda fell to the floor, face cupped in her hands, sobbing.



Alternate Version

I dont care if I go crazy...one, two, three, four, five, six, switch...Crazy go I if care dont I...six, five four, three, two one

Matilda sat on the front porch, staring out into the starry sky. The air was dense and cold, and she loved it that way. It seemed to be the only way to keep her mind awake, to keep it from becoming static and bored. Only wearing in shorts and a short sleeved shirt, she felt the cold bite her skin, and she smiled. Her long black hair tossed a little as a breeze brushed by. She could feel something change, something in the air.

"Hello, Matilda." a calm, empty voice spoke. Right next to Matilda sat a man, lean and tall. He had an almost iridescent glow the way the light of the moon shone on him. Matilda didnt even turn to look at him. She heard this voice too many times that she could recognize it anywhere. But this was the last time she wanted to see him or hear him again.

"Go away," she whispered. There was a shiver of fear within her. He came closer to her, attempting to raise her chin. Matilda turned her back.

"Get out of here, they say youre not real." she said as she crossed her arms.

For a second she thought she could feel him and sniff her hair.

"Lilac shampoo tonight. You never change a bit."

Matilda remained silent. Maybe if she ignored him, he would disappear.

"I'm not going away Matilda."

"Stop saying my name!" she yelled. But he just smirked.

"I know, you hate that name. It reminds you that youre cursed."

Matilda thought for a while. How in the world did he know that? Not even her parents knew that.
She mulled around in her pocket and lit up a cigarette, inhaling the smoke deeply as she tried to calm herself down.

"Just because I'm sick doesnt mean I'm cursed. she replied."

"Then why am I here?" he asked, his voice unnaturally deep.

"Because."

He raised an eyebrow, as if waiting for her to prove him right.

"Because...just because." Matilda tried to continue.

"You're cursed."

"Quit it."

"Youre cursed."

He then scooted toward her and reached into her pocket. He pulled out an amber vial and shook it, making the bottle emit a rattling noise.

"Well well well, this is interesting. Are these yours Matilda?" he mocked.

Matilda's eyes widened in shock. How dare he do something like that?! A pocket is a private place for private things. Thats why no one can see through them. She felt a slight heat of embarrassment flush her face. He turned the bottle over and gave a sly smile.

"Lithium...now tell me Matilda, what is that prescribed for?"

"Go the f*ck away!" Matilda could feel her whole body shaking with anger.
"Could it be for...schizophrenia?"

Matilda snatched the bottle from him and stuffed it back in her pocket.

"Admit it, you like this. You dream about seeing visions of God someday."

"Damn God to Hell!"

"That's a funny thing to say, seeing as God and Hell are two separate things."

Matilda rolled her eyes and took another puff of her cigarette. She starred at the yellow glow that shone from the tip.

"You like it here because reality is boring. Every day is the same routine: Wake up, get dressed, brush your teeth, brush your hair, eat breakfast, go to school, come home, do homework, eat dinner, finish the homework you havent done, take a shower, go to bed."

Matilda shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah, so?"

"Do you remember this?"

He pulled a small diary from behind his back. Matilda could feel her whole body go numb. That was the cursed thing, and it spread the curse to her. He slowly flipped through the pages until he stopped.

"June fifth two-thousand six. Dear diary, I saw blood dripping off my hands today. I didn't cut myself, but I loved thinking about it. Just the way it would flow off of my skin and drip onto the ground...into little pools"

"Hey, cut it out!"

"Oh, heres a good one. June sixth, two thousand six. Dear diary, Im being stalked by this strange man! He followed me to school, like a shadow, and always glared at me through the windows. And every second of the day at home, his face would be right there, staring at me..."

"Damn it! Stop!"

"I love him...he knows my soulits like...he is me..."

Matilda grabbed the diary from his hands and held it close to her chest. She felt her heart beat reverberate through her ribcage, as if being echoed. A dab of sweat flowed down her brow. She was scared, but she wasnt sure what of.

"You know theyre going to find out about the pills, just like they found out about this. And youre going to be back in the insane asylum, wearing a white straitjacket, stuck in purgatory."

Matilda opened up the diary again, and let out a piercing scream. The letters turned from black ink to sticky red blood.

"Ah...theres the blood you know and love. Go ahead, slab it on your wrists. See how it feels."
No, this cant be real! Matilda thought. She closed her eyes and whispered this to herself, over and over again, more intense each time.

Wait, maybe its time to go back to reality. It may be dull and boring, but at least its safer there. Anything to get away from him.

In a desperate attempt, Matilda took out the amber vial and shoved a pill down her throat. Out of breath and raspy, she tried to get whatever air she could. She closed her eyes and let the tears sting and flow down her face.

"Oh come on, thats just pathetic. Those pills are going to take ages to work. And even so, Ill still be here the next time to decide to go back into insanity."

Matilda shook her head fervently, her eyes wide.

"No! No! No!" she screamed, punching her head with each No!.

She couldnt take it anymore. She wanted out, but there was no in between to reality and insanity. She just wanted it to be over.

"If you were to kill yourself, would you do it with a gun or with a knife?" he half-teased.

Then it hit her. Matilda ran into the kitchen, and pulled out a knife from the drawer. She gingerly ran her finger along the edge, beholding it in awe. The light from the moon made it have an eerie silver hue radiating from it.

"I dont care if I go crazy...one two three four five six, switch" she sang to herself. She slowly raised the knife. The knife wasnt in her hand anymore.

"Go to Hell. she muttered."

Suddenly, Matilda sighed and fell to the floor.

-- Edited by kutipi2 at 00:17, 2007-10-28

-- Edited by kutipi2 at 00:37, 2007-10-28