havent written in awhile... poe be sure to point out any errors ;)... i know i have some in here
In the color beams on my soul Turning to that great one I feel the power rage from beneath me I can only see my power from here It is in my mind ready to lash out Big talons ripping your body and soul Fall down and scream Ripping tides of watering tears to drain you It is your fate to come and bite you Hard down on you You laughed... but why? I see your two eyes rolling to my feet One with images of your life The other images of your fate Only one can see the future One that is pure and stable Beauty awaited you and it fell short of your face Tears of sadness shall go on for you We need to find your ending again to put you in the right place Crystal dreaming shards of glass to pierce me once more I fear your past to come for me again I ran... but it is too late I opened your door which led me here One tree spots me I should have never said your name out loud Its leaves came to me and shattered my world Limbs took me alive and strangled me til I had no more life My blackness comes to me in a circle of confusion The dirt holding the tree releases it from its grasp Did it show sympathy for me? Did it know who I really am? Tree is no more However I fall to the endless hole created by the dirt Buried alive I see your coming to greet me Little worms of different colors Glowing to my suprise They shall not help me I brought myself here Now I must find a way out The rain washes all of the dirt away and I am happy once again Droplets of my happiness reflected before me It is who saves me rain Clouds with big eyes just keep crying for me Silvers... Blacks... Reds... and more Why do I feel the need to swim away? You keep crying and crying My world fills with your tears to drown me Take a paddle boat and find my way around I don't have one STOP CRYING! I can't swim Rays of beauty to lighten my day Orange crisp clear dryness to save me My smile shall return to your sun One who shall keep going and going to burn me alive Shall I ever be happy forever... You just keep tearing my life apart Maybe the tree wasn't so bad after all I should have stayed in that darkness I can never see you again Sprouting from the ground... little plant of life Nevermind... I found my way I am much too strong for your worms to come and greet me As my skin boils... I found another way Another time and existence beyond you In flames created by me I see the shadows coming for me They are trying to take my life I laughed and they all ran away I laughed harder and harder As the flames grow bigger and bigger Light shining from my heaven Will those angels ever forgive me? Will the tree forgive me? Laughing away I just tried to come along your winds and blow me out I am nothing more then your chard remains Blowing along the dirt to fertilize your tree
Well no wonder you only write sporadically, geez, this has to be your longest!
Since you have given me permission to nit-pick... you have "feel short of your face" when it should most likely be "fell short of your face"... That's the only major thing that jumps out at me. We've worked over grammar before, so I won't get into that....
Great to see you writing again. Once again, your words strike a dark and inner-reflected theme. Definitely personal-minded in the way you depict your thoughts.
~Lady Poe
__________________
"..I don't care for your fairytales... - Sara Bareilles
Geez lol well it is long and tends to become repetitive but you are a great writer and this is one of your strongest "lash-outs" if I may put it that way. very emotional dark but captivating fav. part: "I see the shadows coming for me They are trying to take my life I laughed and they all ran away I laughed harder and harder As the flames grow bigger and bigger Light shining from my heaven Will those angels ever forgive me?"
lol sorry about the repetitive thing... i do tend to do that... when the feeling hits i just keep goin along with so i dont lost it you know.... anyhoo im glad you liked it and yes it was one of my most recent strong i do have others as well that i wrote awhile ago... thank you very much for your comments alexe they are most appreciated :)
