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Post Info TOPIC: Calm Before the Storm


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Calm Before the Storm


Calm Before the Storm

The grey void penetrates the air
Inhaling, I sense the slight moisture
As the swirling mass of clouds travel by
And my nerves sense the chill attaching to my skin
Yet the air is still, confined
Planning its outbreak and rage of terror
To burst the sky in clashing and flashing
And all that is sensed of this outrage
Is the light fluttering of a cool breeze
As I open my umbrella


-- Edited by kutipi2 at 19:44, 2007-10-03

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"Our mothers and fathers held us close to their hearts and they promised 'One bright and shining day my children, we will triumph in battle. One bright and shining day my children, we will give you back your wings.' " - PL: S&W


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I love storms and you can really feel the coming of one.
Very well penned.

As for critiquing (since you asked) only one line.. "I sense the slight of moisture"
Very lovely write. I like it!!

:)

~Lady Poe

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"..I don't care for your fairytales... - Sara Bareilles


Senior Member

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Thanks. :) I changed the line, and it works so much better!!! :D

__________________
"Our mothers and fathers held us close to their hearts and they promised 'One bright and shining day my children, we will triumph in battle. One bright and shining day my children, we will give you back your wings.' " - PL: S&W


Admin

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Posts: 644
Date:

works great!!

Very lovely.

~Lady Poe

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"..I don't care for your fairytales... - Sara Bareilles


Senior Member

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Posts: 468
Date:

Thank YOU, you helped me out. :)

__________________
"Our mothers and fathers held us close to their hearts and they promised 'One bright and shining day my children, we will triumph in battle. One bright and shining day my children, we will give you back your wings.' " - PL: S&W
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