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Epyllion -> Silhouttes -> Slip - title suggestions are welcome!
Post Info TOPIC: Slip - title suggestions are welcome!
RelientTofu


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Slip - title suggestions are welcome!
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Hey, I'll be replying to others' work when I get back home, I just wanted to get something out here to start with:

Slip

I want to skip my heart across your skin,
linger bank-side, listen to your voice
rippling over me standing on sun-steamed sand.

I want to wade into you, feel you slip
between my toes, rush around my ankles,
lilting a melody through the fluid air.

I want to lie back and float through you,
carry me swiftly to your babbling mouth
and drop me into your salt lips.

I want to fill up with you, hold you without
dripping through my fingers.
I want to drown among your pebbles.

July 30, 2007


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bravestone


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Dude, This is really wonderful writing. I love the metaphor. Love the feel of it. It is refreshing like a longtime lover after the stress of working.

Water is a perfect description of lovemaking. Fluid. Motion. covering. cleansing, etc.

I loved this.



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RelientTofu


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Thanks - it feels good to know when a poetic conceit is more than just a poet's conceit :)

I'm kind of cheating, though - my inspiration's name is Brooke 0:)

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"Life is too important to be taken seriously" - Oscar Wilde
bravestone


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RelientTofu wrote:

Thanks - it feels good to know when a poetic conceit is more than just a poet's conceit :)

I'm kind of cheating, though - my inspiration's name is Brooke 0:)





haha. Nice.

I like "Slip" by the way.



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RelientTofu


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okay - I'll stick with it then. "Simply" was the original title, and I hated it.

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Lady Poe


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well any one who combines the two greatest forces possible (ocean and passion) gets my vote!
I, personally, love the title. It's simple and fitting.
Welcome aboard and awesome entrance.
~Lady Poe

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